What do I want next?
03/24/2009 05:28 p.m. | Personal
Since around the time I was 14, I have had one major goal for my time; get a girl. This later evolved into dating and then into long relationships. This was my one goal, and was a major motivator for most of my actions. I wanted to excel at everything I did to impress girls. This included sports, school, church, and really anything I did. But now, at 23 years old, I have found a girl. I impress her with many things that I do, but without trying to impress her. She likes who I am, and I like who she is. She rarely tries to change me, and I try to change her all the time. You would think that would cause an imbalance, but it doesn't. Everyone means well, and we both love each other very much. But now, I am wondering, what is next?
I find myself needing a new goal. I have (for the most part) succeeded at most things I have tried. I have maintained decent physical fitness, but I was never a stud. I did well in high school and college, although I was never a 4.0 student. I did many things great in CARPOOL, though I was never Chair of the organization. And in business, I have done good work, but I have never been promoted. That is likely because I haven't worked in one place for more than 12 months.
And for the longest time, I didn't have a girl. I dated some girls and kissed others, but I never had a girl to call my own like I do now. But now that I have what I want, I find myself unchallenged. I was unchallenged at work, so I left. But even more now I am finding myself unchallenged in life. Everyone around me sees me as a person who doesn't worry about anything. I would agree with this, but it is only because I have no reason to worry now. I have what I want. I am happy. I am at home and get to spend all day with people I care about. What could be better?
No, I am not asking a rhetorical question. I really want to know what could be better. Because now I have all this time to improve my life and I am not sure how to do this. Is business the answer? Is more school? What could I be doing for other people? In the past I have had goals, and I have now accomplished them. I am in the process of finding a job I enjoy, but after that, what is next?
This may seem as though I am not satisfied with things, but that is not correct. I am very satisfied and happy. But, there are still times when I feel unchallenged (bored) with things.