Should I have done that?
05/03/2009 09:51 a.m. | Self-Improvement
I am very guilty of having what-if thoughts. I used to have many more, but there are still some that irk me. These types of feelings come about when we make a decision and take a risk. Life is all about these decisions, and it would be dumb to assume you could make all the right ones all of the time. When the risk pays off, we rarely go back to recount it. But when things don't quite work out, we have some trouble.
The trick is to let the past be and learn from it and move on. Chances are if you are so worried about whether or not you should have done something then you should not have done that. So be accountable for it and learn from it.
Many of my what-if moments are risks that I didn't take. But I don't always think through the bad effects that could have happened. But, perhaps this is a good indicator that I should take more risks. In the long term, I can be more course-corrective and adjust my riskiness based on these feelings. Too many "Wow, I should not have done that" moments and I will know to be a bit less risky.
We all have these feelings because we all make decisions where guessing and going on gut feelings are our best methods. We can learn to do a better job of getting useful information. I recently called my insurance agent back three times because, while on the phone I thought I had no more questions, I realized after that something was still unclear. I was a little embarrassed, but I now had much better information to make a decision, and a small inconvenient feeling is overshadowed by the good decision I was able to make.
The overall point is to do less worrying about the past because there's nothing you can change. Do more planning for the future. The next time you think "Should I have done that?", instead ask yourself "Should I do that again, or should I try something else?" I don't promise better results, but I do promise you will learn something and be that much closer to knowing what to do the next time.