Everything in perspective
Published: 10/10/2006 09:36 p.m.
I know it seems obvious, but things don't matter so much. The amount of time and thought put into thinking about things is generally wasted, and I am probably more guilty of this than anyone I know. But the summation of everything does matter. It's a lot like voting. Chances are your vote isn't going to be the deciding one (and if it was, I'm sure there would be a recount). But if no one voted, we would be in trouble. So voting doesn't matter by itself, but in context with everyone else's vote, it makes a difference. In school, if I fail 1 test, it's not so bad. If I failed every test for a semester, that is pretty bad. You have to simultaneously not shrug the small stuff while still being aware of the end effect.
Aside from all of this, there is always the fact that you can try again next week, or next semester, or 10 years later. While I believe we should see the big picture and not worry about little things, I think the things that you should cherish are the small things. Say I had a 3 hour conversation with someone special and neglected to study. I fail the test. Not too bad. Overall I'm fine. But as long as it's not a habit, I am actually coming out ahead. Small 3 hour conversations are fun. They make you more positive, or can give you more confidence, or just make you happy in general. This feeling is probably stronger than the feeling of academic success. It is for me. It didn't used to be, but I have come to realize one of the most important things in life. You can't take a degree with you to heaven. You can't take cars or money or any worldly success. You can take relationships, though. And you can take those good deeds you did with someone else and build up heavenly treasures. It's fun to build up someone else. I'm really starting to get a hang of this whole "existence" thing. And I'm liking it more and more.